Happy Valentine's Day!
There's nothing quite like Valentines day to remind you just how single you are; if it's not the soppy posts on Instagram then it's the lack of flowers on your doorstep. At one point, I would have said painfully single but this past year, I've realised that being single isn't actually painful at all.
I was never a girl who was bothered about dating. Whilst most of my friends were out with their boyfriends and swiping on dating apps, I was quite happy in my own company and focused on my degree. Of course, I had little flings here and there but nothing I'd consider to be serious. I didn't conform to society's pressures of being in a relationship in my late teens and that's okay, I was a firm believer that it would happen when it was meant to happen.
However, when I graduated I felt lost. I'm more than aware that life doesn't play out like the movies and the chances of meeting the love of my life at University were slim, but I felt the need to have some kind of companionship. I wanted to be moving on with my life and I don't know if it was loneliness, boredom or cluelessness but a relationship felt like the next best move.
And so I joined the weird and wonderful world of Tinder.
The idea of meeting the love of my life on a dating app was unrealistic but there I was, sat in bed trying to choose six half decent photos, write a witty little bio and select 'I Wanna Dance With Somebody' by Whitney Houston as my anthem *cue the cheesy pick up lines*.
At first it was a bit of harmless fun. I wasn't on there to mess around, I just saw it as a chance to speak to someone new. I spent my evenings swiping, matching and chatting, never intending to meet any of the guys in person. That is until I started speaking to someone I actually clicked with, plucked up all my courage and went on my first ever Tinder date. We went for a walk along the Albert Dock in Liverpool and I thought it went well. Clearly, the feelings weren’t mutual because I got ghosted an hour later. As you can imagine, I was gutted.
Little did I know that this experience would prepare me for what was to come. In the past two years I've dated a guy who already had a girlfriend, a guy who was still hooked on his ex, a guy with the personality of a brick wall, a guy who was a catfish, a guy who loved nothing but himself and a guy who just 'didn't have the time'. As you can tell, it's not been my greatest success.
At first it was a bit of harmless fun. I wasn't on there to mess around, I just saw it as a chance to speak to someone new. I spent my evenings swiping, matching and chatting, never intending to meet any of the guys in person. That is until I started speaking to someone I actually clicked with, plucked up all my courage and went on my first ever Tinder date. We went for a walk along the Albert Dock in Liverpool and I thought it went well. Clearly, the feelings weren’t mutual because I got ghosted an hour later. As you can imagine, I was gutted.
Little did I know that this experience would prepare me for what was to come. In the past two years I've dated a guy who already had a girlfriend, a guy who was still hooked on his ex, a guy with the personality of a brick wall, a guy who was a catfish, a guy who loved nothing but himself and a guy who just 'didn't have the time'. As you can tell, it's not been my greatest success.
Dating is just the same old thing over and over again.
And honestly, I am fed up of it. So, I deleted the dating apps.
I've had a lot of time to think over these past few months and I've realised that I was associating certain points in my life with the person I was dating instead of the achievement/milestone I was making. I don't like the person I become when I start dating someone. I completely forget who I am and neglect myself and the things that I love. It's exhausting putting your time and effort into getting to know someone for it to just crash and burn. It's a web of overthinking, heartache and disappointment.
Seriously, who's got the time? Just talking about it makes me feel tired.
Seriously, who's got the time? Just talking about it makes me feel tired.
Why has society made us think that it's not okay to be on our own?
Yes, I know third-wheeling can be awkward and embarrassing, especially when the PDA comes out. And I know that sometimes being single can feel lonely but that's okay. I'm living with my parents, I've got no partner, I'm not dating and guess what? I love it!
I've never felt so empowered. I can be whoever I want to be and do whatever I want to do. I've got no attachments, nothing holding me back and not to be cliché but I really am living my best life. I wanna book a holiday? I'm going. I wanna buy that dress? I'm having it. I wanna eat my cereal out of the box? You bet I'm doing that shit.
I won't lie, sometimes I do look at couples and want what they have but at the same time I know that it'll come to me when my heart is ready to carry it. It's not that I've given up on love completely because apparently the best things come when you least expect them, but right now I'm more than enough for me.
Maybe my future for now is on my own and that's totally okay. In fact it's more than okay, it's bloody brilliant.
Lots of Love,
Meg x
Great post! I’m (finally) starting to realise there’s more to life than being in a relationship (or, more than likely, a “situationship”). I’d like one at some point but I’m letting myself enjoy life by myself. Like you say, when it happens it happens.
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