Roaccutane: One Year On

When I first started taking roaccutane, it seemed like a never-ending journey; it was constant visits to my dermatologist, endless prescriptions and a whole nine months of aching joints, dry lips and tiredness. I've been off roaccutane for just over a year and a half (I stopped taking it in June 2019) and I still stand by the fact that it's the best thing I've ever done for my skin.

The biggest fear for any patient coming off roaccutane is the possibility that the acne could return. I had the same dread too. I'd already been on antibiotics which had cleared my skin up and the moment I stopped taking them, the acne came back within weeks. I didn't want that to happen again. 

I've been looking forward to writing this roaccutane update and believe me, I've got so much to tell you about; from the side effects of coming off the drug, to skincare products and treatments I've been absolutely loving. There's quite a bit to get through!

So, Did my Acne Return? 

When I was discharged from the care of my dermatologist, he prescribed me with Differin topical cream to introduce into my skincare routine. I had been using Differin previously whilst taking antibiotics and apparently it can be prescribed after roaccutane to help improve any scarring and pigmentation left behind. I started using it twice a week for two weeks, and then every other day after that. 

You'll be glad to know that my skin stayed completely clear for a good few months after taking roaccutane and using Differin, ignoring the occasional hormonal breakout which we all get now and again. I noticed my skin start to break out slightly after I stopped using Differin in March, although I only used it sparingly as I didn't want my skin to get used to it. 

Over the past year and a half, I have experienced breakouts mostly due to wearing masks, hormonal changes and other factors. However, my breakouts are nowhere near as bad as they used to be and are completely manageable with spot treatments, which I'll talk about in a bit. However, my skin is still pretty much clear and I'm so grateful that roaccutane helped me to achieve the skin I always wanted.  

What About the Side Effects?

I experienced quite a few side effects whilst taking roaccutane, the most common being the dryness of skin and lips. I'm pleased to say that this disappeared very quickly, although my skin is nowhere near as oily as it used to be pre-roaccutane and I'll never be able to snap out of the habit of applying lip balm. 

The side effect I've suffered with the most and one that I'm only just getting back to normal is my hair. Sadly, my hair continued to thin and fall out and I'm not going to lie, it really got me down. It's not something you're warned about but after talking to people who have also taken roaccutane, it is actually a very common side effect (more so when you come off the drug). 

Looking back I don't think I looked after my hair enough when I was on roaccutane, I was too busy enjoying the dryness and not having to wash it every other day. In hindsight, I'd definitely start using hair oils and conditioning treatments more; your hair needs its natural oils which roaccutane actually strips it of. Some of my favourites to use are Argan Oil and the Garnier Hair Food Hair Masks. My other top tips would be to let your hair dry naturally and avoid intensive heat styling, give your hair a break! 

Did your Mental Health Suffer? 

If you've done your research on roaccutane then you'll be no stranger to the reports and horror stories about the effect it can have on your mental health. Whilst on the drug, I noticed a slight shift in my mood but nothing too drastic - I was just more emotional than usual. However when I stopped taking it, I noticed a massive change. 

I've spoken about anxiety many times on my blog and in recent years it's something I've taken control of. However since being on roaccutane, my anxiety and panic attacks have slowly crept back in. I had my first panic attack in years whilst on roaccutane and also in the weeks coming off it. I've noticed that my low moods are more frequent and I seem to get down and anxious about things that would never usually have bothered me. I've also been dealing with other mental health issues since coming off roaccutane, but I'm not quite ready to talk about that yet - hopefully some day soon! 

So, coming off such an intense drug coupled with living through a global pandemic, I suppose you could say my mental health isn't the greatest at the moment but I'm working on it. 

Progress Photos 

Skin Treatments 

After finishing your course of roaccutane, it's recommended that you wait 6-12 months before you start having any skin treatments such as facials, tattoos or piercings. After six months I slowly started to introduce face masks back into my skincare routine but I personally chose to wait 12 months before I went for any intense skin treatments as I wanted to make sure my skin had fully healed from taking roaccutane and wasn't as sensitive. 

Dermaplane 

What is dermaplaning? I hear you ask. 

Well, it's basically a deep exfoliation treatment which removes dead skin cells, trapped dirt and peach fuzz. It's all done using an exfoliation blade and aims to leave you with a glowing complexion whilst also helping your skin to better absorb the products you use day to day and help with acne scarring. 

For those of you who know me, you'll know that I've always wanted to have dermaplaning done and I was literally counting down the months before I could book in at a beauty clinic. One of the most important things when booking any skin treatment is to make sure you go to a skincare specialist who is fully qualified and who you trust will look after your skin . I had my treatment at Pretty Faces in Merseyside and I can't recommend them enough! 

I booked in for the Dermaplane Cocoa Oxygen LED Facial which has all the benefits of a standard dermaplane treatment as well as helping to reduce breakouts. My treatment was done by Charlotte and it was basically painless, I didn't feel a thing and she explained everything that she was doing it. 

As you can see from the above before and after photos, my skin was left with the most stunning glow. It felt incredibly soft, my breakouts were reduced and when I next wore make up, the application was absolutely flawless. At the end Charlotte showed me all the trapped dirt that had come off my skin and it shocked me how much crap had built up over time, even with a good skincare routine. My skin glow lasted for ages and I'm already so excited to book my next treatment! 

The Prism Lab AHA Overnight Serum 

As I've previously mentioned, when I finished my course of roaccutane I was left with a little bit of scarring on my cheeks. I've tried many things to help with this including some must-have products from The Body Shop as well as the dermaplane facial, but one of my favourite solutions came from The Prism Lab. 

Their best-selling AHA Overnight Serum is suitable for all skin types and has so many skin benefits including improving moisture levels, promoting a healthy complexion and improving the appearance of damaged skin, redness and scarring. I used this for around one month and it really gave my skin a boost;  my scarring started to fade, my skin felt cleansed and every morning I woke up with a glowing complexion. I should also note that it smells insane and a little bit goes a long way, even my Mum started using it! 

Skin & Me 

In September I noticed that my skin was breaking out more and I got that dreaded feeling that my acne was coming back. I thought I was going to have to go back to my dermatologist and take another course of roaccutane which if I'm being totally honest, I don't think I'd do again. 

I know so many of us have been suffering with 'Mascne', a term we'd never heard of this time last year but one we seem to have given to breakouts caused by wearing masks. It's been the bane of so many lives, including mine, so when I heard about Skin and Me I thought I'd give them a try. 

Skin and Me are an online dermatology service based in the UK. They listen to your skin concerns and then prescribe you with a personalised solution which you apply every night before bed. I've been using my Skin and Me personalised solution for six months to help with my breakouts and I think the above results speak for themselves. It's so easy to apply and fits in perfectly with my skincare routine. Plus the dermatology team are so helpful and friendly - they even recommend the perfect products to use with your new solution! It's very quickly become a skincare favourite and I recommend it to everyone. 

So there we have it, my one year roaccutane update! 

It's so important to remember that the journey to 'perfect skin' is a marathon, not a sprint and if you persevere then you can find a solution because guess what? Perfect skin doesn't exist. I've come to terms with the fact that my skin is never going to be perfect. I'm always going to get breakouts, I'm probably always going to have scarring and I'll never have the airbrushed look that I wanted for so long and that's okay, it doesn't change who am as a person. 

Having acne is so beautiful and you should never feel ashamed.
Our imperfections make us beautiful. 

If you ever have any questions about roaccutane then feel free to message me on Instagram or Twitter, my DM's are always open and I'm always willing to talk skincare! 

I hope you're all keeping safe and well in these crazy times, June 21st is fast approaching! 

Lots of Love,

Meg x

My Must-Have Skincare Products From The Body Shop

Trying new skincare products is one of my favourite things to do. Since finishing my course of Roaccutane and finally having the clear skin I always dreamed of, I've been able to experiment with new products and I must say that I've found some absolute game changers!

Skincare has always been something that I've been interested in. Having had acne from a young age, I've done my fair share of research and I've found that using natural skincare has endless benefits.

The Body Shop is one of my favourite brands when it comes to buying natural products. Not only do they have amazing morals and ethics, but every single product is made from natural ingredients meaning your skin and body are getting the best. I've been a fan of The Body Shop for years and although there's still a lot left for me to try, I thought I'd share some of my favourite products that are essentials in my skincare routine.

Facial Skincare

Vitamin C Glow Protect Lotion SPF 30

This is one of my newest purchases and something I've really been enjoying using these past few months. I noticed my skin was looking very dull and tired so my friend recommended the Vitamin C range from The Body Shop. It's specifically made for dull, tired, grumpy skin to give it a little glow boost for a brighter, more radiant complexion. 

I can fully confirm that my skin is literally GLOWING after using the Vitamin C Glow Protect Lotion, so much so that people are actually commenting on it! It smells like a tropical wonderland and a little bit goes a very long way. It's not as lightweight as I'm used to but it leaves my skin feeling incredibly soft and, with an SPF of 30 it's protecting my skin from those harsh UVA/B rays - SPF is super important when buying a moisturiser! 

I've also heard that Vitamin C can help with scarring and as I have a fair bit of acne scaring on my cheeks, it's something I wanted to test. Although I've not noticed a drastic change yet, my scars have reduced in colour and definitely aren't as noticeable. 

Vitamin E Eye Cream 

Using an eye cream has never been an essential in my skincare routine because I've never really needed it. However recently, the dark circles under my eyes have been very prominent and no amount of concealer was working. I went in search of something to help and came across the Vitamin E Eye Cream. I'd heard really good things so couldn't wait to give it a try. 

It aims to help reduce the appearance of fine lines and dark circles as well as protecting the fragile skin around the eyes. I apply it both morning and evening and my under eyes have never looked brighter. As with most Body Shop products, a little goes a long way and it's no wonder it's one of their best-selling products because it's certainly a firm favourite of mine! Why didn't I find it sooner!? 

Body Moisturisers

Strawberry Body Butter

You'll have seen me talk about this Strawberry Body Butter in my Roaccutane Holy Grain Products as it's been a firm favourite of mine for years. It melts into the skin and I absolutely love using this after I've had a bath/shower in the evenings as it leaves my skin feeling soft and smelling amazing. All the Body Shop Body Butters are brilliant, but the Strawberry scent is absolutely delicious - it smells like calpol and I'd eat it if I could! 

Strawberry Body Yogurt 

The Strawberry Body Yogurt is one of those purchases I make time and time again. It's perfect for when you're in a rush and haven't got as much time to moisturise, especially for me when I've overslept which is most mornings (a queen is never late, everyone else is simply early - 10 points if you know where that quote is from). 

The lightweight, gel formula absorbs into the skin instantly so it doesn't leave you with that horrible sticky feeling. I can literally apply this to my body and then get dressed straight away. It's also made to apply to damp skin too and it smells amazing! 

Face Masks

Himalayan Charcoal Purifying Glow Mask 

The Himalayan Charcoal Face Mask is potentially my favourite Body Shop purchase I have ever made. I first heard about it watching Jade Billington's Skincare Video, she spoke so highly of it so I had to give it a try. 

I'm not exaggerating when I say that since I've been using this mask, my skin has never felt so cleansed and glowy. It aims to draw out impurities and refine the appearance of pores to give a healthy looking glow. As you watch it dry, you'll notice that the dark patches cling to where you have excess oil and you'll probably find it tingles a little bit when you first apply it but that soon fades. 

I can't even describe how refreshed my skin feels when I wash it off; it's so soft and has such a natural glow. It's the perfect face mask to use when you feel like your skin needs a real deep cleanse, especially after a full day of wearing heavy make up. I could literally rave about it all day, it's bloody brilliant! 

Tea Tree Skin Clearing Face Mask 

Although Roaccutane was amazing in clearing up my acne, I do still get the odd breakout. I've always used tea tree as part of my skincare routine, so I invested in the Tea Tree Face Mask and it's done an amazing job of minimising my breakouts. I noticed a few more breakouts after the first few times using the mask, but I think it has to bring out the impurities to get rid of them. 

I've been using this for around two months now and I can confidently say that my impurities are few and far between, my skin is incredibly clear and it's one of my favourite products. It's not as harsh as the Himalayan Charcoal Mask but the combination of the two is a dream! I use both once a week. 

So there we have it, my Body Shop favourites! 

I should mention that all products have been purchased by me and this post isn't sponsored in any way, I just really love The Body Shop! Also, all products mentioned have been perfect for my sensitive, acne prone skin! 

The Body Shop have literally changed my skincare routine for the better and I can't wait to try out more products in the future. Let me know some of your favourites in the comments! 

Lots of Love,

Meg x

My Top 10 Tips For Starting Roaccutane

So, you've just been prescribed with a dose of roaccutane and it's a weird mixture of feelings isn't it? One part of you is excited to finally have what could be a permanent cure for your acne, whilst the other is absolutely terrified of the skin journey ahead. It's completely normal to feel like this, I was scared too!

One of the most important things to do before, during and after taking this drug is to RESEARCH; you can never do enough! There's so many different posts out there full of peoples experiences, tips and tricks that I guarantee you'll learn something new from everyone. That being said, I'm going to add to this collection of posts with my top tips for starting your course of roaccutane!

Just some context before I start, I was taking roaccutane for a total of 9 months and my highest dosage was 50mg. I wrote a whole blog post about it, including progress photos, so if you fancy a read you can find it here.

1. Tinted Lip Balm Is Your Best Friend 

One of the most devastating things about being on roaccutane was the fact that wearing lipstick became a thing of the past. My lips were so dry that any lipstick just peeled off and generally looked gross! If you're a lipstick lover like me, then you'll feel like your make up looks drab without a pop of colour on your lips. My advice? Invest in a tinted lip balm. Not only is it super moisturising but it also adds that little shimmer of colour to your lips; it's the second best thing to lipstick and filled the lipstick shaped hole in my life. My favourite ones were from Nivea and Blistex. 

2. Carry Lip Balm Everywhere 

How many people have told you this? Well add me to that list.
I know you're fed up of hearing it and you probably don't believe us, but trust me when I say you need lip balm with you at all times. I'm talking every handbag, every room, every drawer; it needs to be there. Thank me for it later.

3. Drink Plenty Of Water 

As you probably know, roaccutane works by reducing oil production and shrinking oil glands which causes severe dryness, not only of your skin but your entire body. You may find that your feeling thirsty more often and my best advice is to drink as much water as possible. Not only is it generally good for your health, but it'll help with the dryness and aching joints! 

4. Keep Your Skincare Routine As Simple As Possible 

I won't go into a lot of detail about my skincare routine as I did a post on my Holy Grail Products which you can have a browse through, but all I will say is it that it's super important to keep your skincare as simple as possible. Think about it, your skin is already overwhelmed with the tablet itself, having a complicated skincare routine will make it even worse! 

I'd also recommend to use any new skincare products before starting your course as introducing them into your routine early will ensure that your skin is familiar with them.

5. Join Facebook Support Groups

This is a super important tip and one I recommend to everyone.
There's hundreds of Facebook groups, Instagram pages and Bloggers out there who talk openly about their struggles with acne and offer support to people on any kind of acne treatment. I created an Instagram specifically for my Roaccutane journey and I have to say that the acne community is so uplifting, welcoming and lovely. It might sound silly but for the first time in my life, I was actually proud to have acne.

6. Do Your Research 

I briefly touched on this before, but doing research on Roaccutane is so important; it'll prepare you for what you should expect and also give you a little bit of hope that this drug actually does perform miracles. Remember that this is not an easy drug to take, so no amount of research is too much. I'm presuming if you've found your way to this post then you're doing exactly that. 

7. Remember That Everyone Has A Different Experience 

Research is important, we've gathered that. But please, please, please don't scare yourself. We need to remember that everyone has a different experience of taking roaccutane; some say it's the best thing they've ever done whilst others will warn you off it like it's the plague. You make your own judgement but be prepared for most eventualities.

8. Document Your Progress 

Documenting your roaccutane journey with pictures and notes is super important to monitor your progress. It really helps on those days when you feel a bit rubbish and like the drug isn't working because believe me, we all have them. 

I made an Instagram specifically to document my progress. I took photos every week and wrote about any new symptoms I had or just how I was feeling. It helped me to remember that this was a marathon, not a sprint and that my skin was improving even when I didn't feel like it! 

9. Get A Tablet Organiser

If you're anything like me and are forgetful when it comes to taking tablets, I recommend investing in a small tablet organiser. They're only a few pounds on Amazon and really help to keep you organised, especially if you're on a higher dosage like me! 

10. Talk About How You're Feeling 

I thought I'd finish with the most important point, and one that I think everyone needs to hear. I don't need to tell you about the bad reports this drug has for its severe side effects on your mental health; from low mood to suicide. Please talk about how you're feeling; to your family, to your friends, to the online community - there is always someone willing to listen. My messages are always open. 

We will all have bad days when taking this drug, we'll all have low moods and we'll all feel a little hopeless. This is totally normal and completely okay, we're entitled to our feelings. I know when I was taking Roaccutane, I used to get aggravated at the silliest things and cry when there was nothing to cry about; again, that's okay. What matters is how we handle these situations and talking to someone is the best thing you can do. Trust me. 

I hope that these tips have helped some of you if you've just been prescribed with roaccutane or if you're thinking of taking it and are doing your research. Personally, although it wasn't easy, it's one of the best things I have ever done and my confidence has sky rocketed. If you are struggling with acne, go to see your GP or ask to be referred to a dermatologist -  there are so many treatments out there and acne is NOTHING to be ashamed of. 

If you have any questions or tips that I haven't mentioned, leave them in the comments or drop me a message, I'm always happy to chat! 

Lots of Love,

Meg x

Roaccutane: My Holy Grail Products

Receiving your prescription for roaccutane is one of the most exciting yet terrifying experiences. On the one hand you can't wait to start your journey towards clear skin and are over-joyed to have been prescribed a drug that could quite literally change your life. But at the same time there are a lot of horror stories out there because of the side effects.

Regardless of your feelings, there's a high chance that you're going to have to switch up your skincare routine. If you're anything like me you'll be in the process of doing your research to try and find the best products out there. It's looking expensive, right? Well it doesn't have to be.

I thought it'd be a good idea to compile a list of my favourite products that I used whilst taking Roaccutane. I tried to keep my skincare as simple as possible without breaking the bank so hopefully this will help some of you.

Moisturisers 

Roaccutane works by reducing oil production and shrinking oil glands which in turn causes dryness, not only of your skin but your lips and hair. It's a guaranteed side effect of the drug and although it can be frustrating at times, it's easily controlled.

It's important to invest in a good moisturiser for your skin type as taking roaccutane can make your skin very sensitive. I used four different moisturisers during my course, all of which were brilliant and I would highly recommend.

Simple Kind To Skin+ Moisturiser SPF30

If you've been reading my blog for a while you'll know that Simple are one of my favourite skincare brands and I've been using their products for years. I was using the Simple Kind to Skin+ Moisturiser before taking roaccutane and I continued to use it throughout my course. Not only is it perfect for even the most sensitive of skin types (it doesn't include any harsh chemicals) but it also provides instant hydration without clogging up your pores.

It also has a high SPF which is another important factor as roaccutane can make your skin incredibly sensitive to sunlight, even in the winter months. I used this as my daily moisturiser, applying it every morning after cleansing and it worked a treat.

La Roche Posay Effaclar H Moisturiser

La Roche Posay are the brand I recommend to everyone going through any kind of acne treatment, whether they're under the supervision of a dermatologist or trying to clear it up themselves.

The Effaclar H range is specifically formulated for oily skin that has become weakened by harsh, over-drying acne treatments including roaccutane. I used the Effaclar H Moisturiser each night before going to bed as it instantly soothed my dry, flaking skin without aggravating my blemishes. It's the one product I recommend to everyone and I don't think I could've got through my course without it. 

Cetaphil Daily Defence Moisturiser SPF50

I switched to using the Cetaphil Daily Defence Moisturiser in the summer months as it has a higher SPF and would therefore provide better protection for my skin when it was at its most sensitive. It's lightweight, easily absorbed and perfect for all skin types.

The Body Shop Body Butter 

It's important to remember that the rest of your body needs moisturising too as Roaccutane has been known to cause eczema and other skin conditions.

I absolutely adore The Body Shop's collection of body butters as they're rich and hydrating but don't leave you with that horrible sticky feeling. My current favourite, and the one I used throughout my course, is the Strawberry Body Butter - it smells absolutely delicious, a bit like calpol.

Cleansers

Cetaphil Gentle Skin Cleanser 

A complete holy grail product! 

As I said, I tried to keep my skin care routine incredibly simple. I didn't want to overwhelm my skin with tonnes of different products, I just wanted to let the tablet work its magic.

I only used one cleanser and that was the Cetaphil Gentle Skin Cleanser for dry sensitive skin. It's the one product that everyone recommended when I was doing my skincare research and now I fully understand why. Not only is it gentle and soothing on the skin but it also helps to relieve the dryness caused by prescription skincare products. 

I'm still using this cleanser now and I stopped taking roaccutane just over four months ago. It's become a must-have in my daily skincare routine and I wouldn't be without it. 

Foundations 

Wearing make up is something my dermatologist recommended for me NOT to do however, my acne was so bad I knew I had to use something to give me a little confidence boost when I was going out. I trialled various different foundations but most tended to cling to dry patches or made me break out until I found this absolute life saver!

No7 Hydraluminous Moisturising Foundation

No7 are the make up brand I go back to time and time again, I know I can trust in their products and the staff are always so helpful. For the first few months, I used my trusty No7 Stay Perfect foundation which worked but when my skin started to dry out I knew I needed to change things up. 

I went to my local Boots store and asked the staff for recommendations on foundations that were lightweight, decent coverage and suitable for dry skin. This is when I was introduced to the No7 Hydraluminous moisturising foundation and it ticked all the boxes. 

It's lightweight, buildable coverage and doesn't cling to dry patches leaving skin visibly fresh, radiant and moisturised. It's also suitable for even the most sensitive of skin types (perfect for us lot on Roaccutane) and it has SPF15 which is always a bonus! 

Lip Balms

Another main side effect of taking roaccutane is your lips to becoming dry, chapped and sometimes bleeding. I experienced all of this and more, but it was the side effect that was most manageable. Trust me when I say, your house will be FULL of lip balms - you need one in every room, every handbag and every location, so I've narrowed down my top picks which helped me along the way.

Okeefe's Lip Repair 

The O'keefe's Lip Repair was my favourite lip product to use, especially towards the end of my course when my lips started to crack and bleed. It provides relief for extremely dry, cracked lips and immediately improves the feel, protecting against dryness all day. 

Blistex Intensive Moisturiser

I used Blistex every night before I went to bed because when I woke up in the mornings, my lips were so soft and smooth. I found that my lips were at their driest in the evenings and this worked an absolute treat! 

Carmex

Oh classic Carmex, you can never go wrong. 

It's the lip balm that every one recommends and I'm doing the exact same to you. It's perfect to keep in your bag or on your desk at work and it even has SPF15 - what more could you want?

Blistex Lip Brilliance

One of the things I hated about being on roaccutane was that wearing lipstick became a thing of the past, it made my lips so dry and ended up cracking after five minutes of application - not a good look. If you know me well, you'll know how much I love my lipsticks so I had to find a way around it. That's where Blistex Lip Brilliance comes in. 

This is a tinted lip balm with all the moisturising goodness of classic Blistex, just with an added tint to give your lips that rosy glow. It wasn't exactly the same as wearing my favourite Charlotte Tilbury dark lip but it filled in that lipstick shaped hole in my life. 

Burts Bees Natural Lip Balm 

It's another classic and a product I've used both on and off roaccutane. Although Burts Bees isn't as moisturising as other lip products, it's natural goodness leaves your lips feeling so soft and smooth. It's a definite handbag essential! 

Soap & Glory Wonderbalm 

Now, this isn't the exact product that I used (they've stopped making it, sob) but the Soap & Glory Wonderbalm does the same thing. Not only is it for your lips, it can also be used on your skin and hair to leave you feeling and looking a million dollars. 

So there you have it, my roaccutane holy grail products! 

I hope this post has helped to narrow down some of the best products on the market for those of you who are going to be taking roaccutane, are currently taking roaccutane, or even if you're just curious about what products work for dry skin and lips. 

If you have any questions about my experience on roaccutane or any of the products I used, you can message me on Instagram, Twitter or send me an email. Also, if you have any other product recommendations then leave them in the comments to help each other out! 

Lots of Love, 

Meg x

My Skin Journey: Roaccutane

Last Week, after almost two years of dermatology appointments, I officially finished my course of roaccutane.

I've had acne since I was ten years old. I'm now twenty-two. That's twelve years of my life spent feeling insecure, dealing with bullies and waking up every morning to red cysts covering my cheeks. Twelve years of avoiding social situations, editing my blemishes out of photos and the sight of my own reflection bringing me to tears. I wrote a big ol' post about my skin story, if you fancy a read. 

I know most people say that they tried everything to clear up their skin but trust me when I say, I seriously explored every avenue possible, even the little side streets. Most of this was to avoid taking roaccutane, a drug I'd heard so much about; some things good, others not so much.

What Stopped Me Taking It?

I was first referred to start taking roaccutane (aka isotretinoin - a quick google search will tell you all about it) back in February 2018. However, after doing a lot of research and scaring myself silly, I chose to take yet another course of antibiotics. Granted, they did their job and cleared my skin up beautifully but when I stopped taking them, the acne came back in full force.

Although roaccutane is known as a 'miracle drug', it also receives a lot of bad press for the severe side effects associated with it; from skin as dry as the Sahara to issues as serious as low mood and in the worst cases, suicide. This was the side effect that scared me the most; there's no way I could put my mind and body through that. I knew my skin had to get worse before it got better but what if it didn't improve? So many questions! So many thoughts! My brain was a pile of mush.

I spent my nights watching vlogs, reading blog posts, interrogating friends and doing every ounce of research I could. However, no experience is the same and no matter how many people you talk to, everyone has something different to say.

Why Roaccutane?

In October of last year, I decided that roaccutane was my last resort and the only thing left for me to try. Taking this tablet is not a decision that should be taken lightly and I highly recommend that you make sure to do your research beforehand.

It took me a long time to decide I was finally ready to take roaccutane and I know I wouldn't have had the courage if it wasn't for the supportive network of people around me. Sure, some people tried to talk me out of it but deep down, I knew it was the right decision for me (and if worst came to worst, I could always stop taking it). At the end of the day, it's your decision and your decision only. You need to do what feels right for you.

I knew it was the one thing that could be a permanent solution to my acne and to be able to feel confident in myself again was something I so desperately longed for. I started my course of roaccutane on the 13th October 2018 and it truly is the best decision I have ever made.

Month 1 - Month 3

Dosage: 30mg

The first month of being on roaccutane is commonly known as the 'worst part' as your skin is supposed to purge all the badness which is why you're always told that it has to get worse before it gets better. However, my experience was a little bit backward.

I'd psyched myself up for this really bad breakout that was supposed to be brewing, yet nothing happened. I waited, and waited, and waited but my skin just seemed to be improving by the day. The overall texture was smooth and blemishes were few and far between, I'd be off this thing sooner than I thought (oh how naive you were, hun).

Side Effects

In terms of side effects, I think I was lucky. I got dry skin and dry lips pretty much straight away which was to be expected and nothing a bit of lip balm couldn't solve - even though nothing can prepare you for how many times you have to apply it during the day. 

Nearing the end of my first month I noticed myself feeling extremely tired and therefore sleeping a lot. This was potentially the worst side effect throughout the course as it brought a lack of motivation and hopelessness in some cases, not to mention it was bloody hard to get rid of. I continued to exercise and experienced sore joints however I found that taking a glucosamine supplement each day kept the aches and pains at bay. 

I also continued to drink alcohol in moderation and although it's not recommended, I had no major issues. Except that the hangovers are an absolute bitch. 

Other minor side effects included a few bad dreams, restless nights, nosebleeds, weight gain and painful periods but apart from that, the first few months were plain sailing. It seriously didn't feel like I was on medication. 

Mood

I'll be honest and say that my mood changed. It wasn't a dramatic change but I noticed myself feeling low and having a lack of interest in things. The only way I can describe it is feeling hungry, there's food there but you can't be bothered eating. However, it's hard to know if low mood is caused by roaccutane or personal issues. To help with this, I tried to keep myself busy and have some much needed me time. I also noticed that I let things get to me quicker than normal; I'd get upset about the smallest things and become aggravated quickly. 

Month 3 - Month 6

Dosage: 50mg

The next three months were the hardest and potentially the lowest I've ever felt. My dosage was upped to 50mg and subsequently, the bad breakout made an appearance. Seeing my skin get so bad made me feel disgusting, I couldn't bare to look in the mirror and the temptation to pick was so real. 

In all honesty, I felt like I'd made a massive mistake. I knew it had to get worse before it got better but I never imagined it would get that bad. It was really disheartening and I spent most nights crying to anyone who'd listen - I really was feeling sorry for myself. 

Side Effects

As expected, my side effects worsened and believe me when I say they really worsened. My periods became incredibly painful. I suffer with bad menstrual cramps anyway but roaccutane cramps were next level - I'd be in bed for days. 

The dryness also intensified, my lips started to crack and bleed and no amount of moisturiser could stop my foundation from clinging to the dry patches on my face. Eczema started to appear on my arms and legs and I was still incredibly tired all the bloody time. I had no motivation whatsoever. 

However, the worst side effect for me was hair loss. I went for my hair cut in February and my hair dresser pointed out that my hair had thinned so much it was falling out in her hands. As someone who takes pride in her appearance, especially her hair, this really upset me and my self esteem lowered even further. 

As you know, I will be truthful about this whole experience. I won't hide anything and I'll tell it like it is. So, if you want a summary of what these few months were like, I think my instagram post sums it up perfectly. 

Improvements

Towards the end of March I noticed that most of my active spots were small or had disappeared, leaving redness and scaring behind. I could only hope that the worst was over. 

Month 6 - Month 9

Dosage: 50mg

After three months of absolute hell, I finally started to see the massive improvements I was promised. I was backwards and forwards from my dermatologist, hoping it would be the last month and the end of my roaccutane journey but each time I was told, 'just one more month' and handed another prescription.

The majority of redness was scarring but I was still getting a few active spots now and again and according to my dermatologist, I had to be four to eight weeks clear before he could discharge me from his care. In terms of texture, my skin was smooth and my complexion was getting brighter by the day.

In the final months, I noticed that the warmer weather had a positive impact on my skin. It also raised the importance of using SPF, not only on my face but on my body too - something I completely overlooked when taking the drug. Due to the warm weather, I started drinking lemon infused water which had a positive impact on my scarring, calming redness and fading marks.

Side Effects

Towards the end of my final month, my body was telling me that I'd had enough and I knew that too. 

My side effects continued to intensify. Along with the bleeding lips, nose bleeds and intense fatigue, I was experiencing blinding migraines and terrible hot sweats. I could do something as simple as walk to the corner shop and I'd be sweating like I'd ran the London Marathon. Apparently, this is a common side effect towards the end of your roaccutane journey.

In terms of mood, I was low. I was really, really low. I went for weeks feeling like I wasn't good enough, feeling down about my appearance (not just my skin but my body) and feeling incredibly sensitive. I'd find myself sobbing at minor inconveniences - the silliest occasion being in work when I gave someone the wrong change. I couldn't cope anymore.

I'm lucky that I was able to talk to my family and friends about the way I was feeling. If it hadn't been for them and the supportive acne community on Instagram, I really don't think I'd have been able to get through this drug.

And Then, It Was Over

On 26th June 2019, I officially finished my course of roaccutane and let me tell you, I couldn't be happier. I was discharged from the care of my dermatologist and sobbed as he handed me my final letter.  I can't thank him enough for his support, guidance and help throughout my skin journey - he truly is an amazing human being and he's restored my confidence not only in the way I look but in myself as a person. 

What Now?

So I know what you're thinking, my skin journey is over and I'll be acne free for the rest of my life. 

Well, that would be the ideal scenario but my acne treatment doesn't end here. I'll be using Differin (a mild chemical peel) to help clear up any scarring that has been left behind and, in the words of my dermatologist, 'help my skin get better and better every day.' 

There is also a very minor chance that my acne could reappear. This is rare (and fingers crossed it won't happen) but some people have to go on two to three courses of roaccutane to get permanent results. That's the part I'm dreading. 

So, Was It Worth it?

Absolutely. 

I know I've sat here and complained about dryness, hair loss and tiredness but it really hasn't been that bad. I may have had some of the rarer side effects but there's people who've gone through the course without any dryness at all. I think the important thing is to do your research and be prepared for the side effects that can occur - that way, you know what to expect. 

In all honesty, it's changed my life. 

For the first time, I feel proud and confident in my own skin. I don't care what other people think. I don't care if they stare. It's crazy to think that two years ago, I wouldn't be seen in public without make up on, and now it's rare that I even wear it. 

I know how much bad skin knocks your confidence and I know how lonely it feels. As a society, we are under the impression that acne isn't normal when in fact, it's the most normal thing in the world. I think it's about time we see more acne prone skin portrayed in the media - instead of creating this unattainable image for people, why don't we try to encourage them to be proud of their flaws? 

I suppose I'm trying to say that it's okay to embrace your natural beauty. Acne is a part of you; spots, scaring, freckles and everything in between. Be proud of it. 

If anyone has any questions about acne, roaccutane or anything skin related then don't hesitate to drop me a Tweet, message me on Instagram or send me a little Email. I'm more than happy to talk! 

Lots of Love,

Meg x

Skin Update │ 100 Days On Roaccutane

I've officially been taking roaccutane for one hundred days. 

I'll be honest and say that my skin situation has been getting me down recently. I seem to have gone backwards in the normal cycle of things and the dreaded 'initial breakout' is happening to me right now. I expected it to happen in the first few weeks, not the third month. 

Despite this, I'm trying to remain positive. I've seen some drastic improvements, especially in the texture of my skin and even after three months, it still doesn't feel like I'm taking a tablet!

The First Tablet

I was prescribed roaccutane back in October and have been taking 30mg (my lowest possible dosage) for the past three months. The dose is based on my height/weight and my dermatologist discussed this at my first consultation.

When I took my first pill I was absolutely terrified. The entire day consisted of me pacing around the house wondering if I was making the right decision. My acne is now classed as mild/persistent and with roaccutane only being used in the most severe cases, I thought my dermatologist had made a mistake. Then I remembered that he's the professional and wouldn't prescribe it if I didn't need it. 

As I watched the two little pills roll around in my hand, I started to psych myself up. I knew I was going to spends months battling dry skin, dry lips and mood swings but this could be a permanent solution to my acne, a confidence issue I've lived with for 10 years. 

So I took the pills and felt (and still feel) exactly the same.  

Side Effects

Roaccutane gets a lot of bad press because of the side effects associated with it, the most severe being constant low mood and suicide. I've been incredibly lucky, only experiencing mild side effects on my low dosage. I got dry lips and dry skin pretty much straight away but that was to be expected and it's nothing that a bit of moisturiser and lip balm can't solve. 

Nearing the end of my first month I noticed that I was getting very tired and therefore sleeping a lot. This is a side effect that is hard to combat but I have found that exercising and keeping myself active has helped a little bit. In terms of exercise, I have been experiencing sore joints in recent weeks. I'm currently working on ways to ease this as I don't want to stop going to the gym.  

So, how have I been feeling? 

Well, I'll be honest and say that my mood has changed. Its not been a dramatic change but I have noticed myself feeling low and having a lack of interest in things. The only way I can describe it is feeling hungry, there's food there but you can't be bothered eating. However, it's hard to know if this low mood is caused by roaccutane or personal issues. To help with this, I try to keep myself busy and have some much needed me time. I've also noticed that things get to me quicker than they normally would; I get upset about the smallest things and become aggravated quickly. 

Other minor side effects include a few nosebleeds, some bad dreams and my periods have definitely been more painful. Dry shampoo is also a thing of the past, I'm only washing my hair a few times a week now! 

Apart from that, it's been plain sailing. 

PROGRESS

Wow, this still makes me nervous!

In terms of my progress, you'll see that the texture/condition of my skin improved drastically in the first month but has now deteriorated again. This was to be expected and I know that things have to get worse before they get better. I'm hoping that I'll be seeing drastic improvements in the next few months. However, I must say that my skin is SO SMOOTH!

STRUGGLES

Okay so, I'll never be able to get used to putting lip balm on every hour, the low moods are a real pain and not being able to pick at my spots is TORTURE but trust me when I say, its really not been that bad. I realise how lucky I am to have had a straightforward, positive experience in the first few months and I really hope this continues for the rest of my course 

PRODUCTS

I'm going to do a more in depth post about the products I've been using very soon so I'll keep this brief. I've found that keeping it simple and using a small number of products has been the best option because I need to let the medication work its magic. I've been using products made especially for dry skin from brands like Simple, La Roche Posay and Cetaphil.

My Current Favourites

• Cetaphil Cleanser for Dry Skin
• La Roche Posay Effaclar H Moisturiser
• Simple Kind To Skin Protecting Moisturiser (SPF30)
• Blistex Intensive Moisturiser
• Carmex Lip Balm
• Nivea Cherry Lip Balm
• The Body Shop Body Butter 

What Next? 

I'm going to see my dermatologist for my follow up appointment on Friday. He'll be upping my dosage to 40mg which will hopefully speed up the process and improve my skin dramatically. These next few months are going to be full of big changes and I'm already excited to see the end results. 

If you ever have any questions about roaccutane, my messages are always open! 

Lots of Love,

Meg

xxx

I'm Taking Roaccutane!

As many of you know, I’m very open about my struggle with acne. I’ve had acne for over 10 years and in my most recent skin update,  I was due for what I hoped would be my final dermatology appointment.

I’ve been taking antibiotics and applying a topical cream for the past six months in an attempt to clear my acne. When I last updated you, I finally had skin that I was proud of. It wasn't perfect but for the first time in my life, I felt confident enough to go out without makeup on.

As instructed by my dermatologist, I stopped taking the antibiotics at the beginning of September, two weeks before my appointment. For the first week, my skin was clear and I had no new breakouts. However, in the second week, my acne started to reappear. It wasn't as severe as it was in March but for a girl who'd been used to waking up with clear skin, waking up to breakouts again wasn't fun.

'The acne isn't coming back, it can't be.' 

I knew that the antibiotics weren't a permanent solution but when my dermatologist confirmed that my acne was making a comeback, I couldn't help but feel disheartened. I'd taken tablets every night for six months for the acne to come back after two weeks. Everything seemed so pointless. 

For the rest of the appointment, we discussed my next steps. 

I could try yet another antibiotic, with no guarantee that it would work, or I could be prescribed Roaccutane (a drug I had been offered in my initial consultation). If you've heard anything about Roaccutane, you'll know that it receives a lot of negative press for the severe side effects that it can cause. After a long chat, we agreed that Roaccutane was the best solution

The following week, I returned to collect my prescription. I had to have a blood test and do a pregnancy test - it's incredibly important that you don't get pregnant when taking Roaccutane as it can cause severe birth defects in unborn babies. This is something that I will have to do every month when taking the drug. My dermatologist weighed me, measured my height and prescribed me with a starting dosage of 30mg. I'll be honest, this is a higher dosage than I was expecting. 

What happens now?

I'm officially part of the Roaccutane club. 

I've stocked up on lip balms and moisturisers and I've spent my nights watching Katie Snooks' monthly diaries. If you've been on Roaccutane, then you'll know that no experience is the same and no matter how many people you talk to, everyone has something different to say. It's definitely something that needs to be researched before a final decision is made and it should be used as a last resort. 

There are some amazing bloggers/YouTubers who have talked about their experiences on Roaccutane. I thoroughly enjoyed listening to Katie, Sarah, Primrose and Mercydes.

Updates

As I write this blog post, I've just taken my first dose of Roaccutane and if I'm being honest, I'm absolutely terrified. The past few days, my skin has improved massively and I started to wonder if it was a good idea to put my body through such an intense drug. However, the more my skin has fluctuated, the more I've realised that Roaccutane could be a permanent solution to my acne.

It could make my acne disappear for good. 

If things go to plan, I'll be taking Roaccutane for the next four months and I want to bring you along for the journey. I'll be taking photos of my skin every single day and updating my blog with photos, side effects, products I've been loving and anything else I've been feeling. 

This will not only help me to monitor both the changes and improvements to my skin but also *hopefully* remove some of the bad stigma around the drug, giving an honest account of what it's like to take Roaccutane. I also think it's incredibly important to share and be proud of our imperfections. I'm trying to be confident in my skin and I think that this is a perfect way to do it. 

I'm hoping for a positive journey to clear skin. 

If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask. 

Lots of Love,
Meg

xxx

My Skin Story

I've had acne since I was ten years old. At least, that's the first time I remember going to see my GP about my skin. He prescribed me with some cream to apply each night and sent me on my way. At that age, my only concerns were playing out with my friends and wondering if Zoey would end up with Chase on Zoey 101. My skin was the last thing on my mind. It was only when I got to high school that it became more of an issue.

High School is nasty. Kids are nasty.
I was bullied because of my skin. I remember sitting in English and having girls ask, 'why is your skin so spotty?' and sometimes lads would ask me on dates as a joke. I had all the usual name calling that you'd associate with acne, 'pizza face', 'greasy face', 'crater face' etc but I learned to deal with it. At thirteen, my Mum was referring to my spots as 'teenager spots' and told me that they'd go when I was older.

Fast forward to Sixth Form and my skin was at its worst. I went back to my GP and was prescribed various creams but they didn't work. He then decided to put me on the contraceptive pill. It was called co-cyprindol and I was taking it for just over two years, including my first year of university. It was dreadful. My skin got progressively worse, I gained quite a lot of weight and my mental health deteriorated. I had to go and see my GP every three months and each time, he told me that he'd refer me to see a dermatologist. He never did.

Here's a photo of me and my parents in my flat when I first moved in. As you can see, the blemishes all over my cheeks are barely coverable with makeup. I'll be honest, I was ashamed. I expressed my concerns to people and they reassured me saying, 'don't worry, it's not the first thing people will notice about you.' I believed this for a while until a drama lecturer told me that I'd never get a job in the arts with 'skin like that'. I have never been more aware of my acne than I was in that moment. That was when I went into complete meltdown.

I came off the pill and my skin started to improve. I tried every branded cream, soap, scrub and facial wash and some products helped, but my confidence was at a complete low. Throughout uni, my skin changed - sometimes I'd go weeks with blemishes that were coverable with makeup, other times, not even a full coverage foundation/concealer would help.

In February 2018 I decided it was time to sort my skin out once and for all. I couldn't understand why everyone had such perfect skin and I didn't. No one seemed to understand. This year was a big year in terms of social events. I had a Leavers Ball, my 21st and my Graduation. I wanted my skin to be clear. I wanted to be able to stand in front of a camera and not feel self-conscious or wonder how I was going to edit my blemishes out. I just wanted to love myself again.

The First GP Visit

I went to visit my GP in February of this year. I walked into the room makeup-less and sat opposite a lovely woman with a kind, smiling face. I'll be honest, I sat there and cried. I told her everything; how disgusting I felt, all the remarks that had been made and that all I wanted was to have clear skin for graduation. She nodded as I spoke, jotting down everything that I said. Finally, I thought someone was listening.  

'We've given you everything we could possibly prescribe you, I think the best thing for us to do is refer you to a dermatologist,' she said. I breathed a sigh of relief. Then she started flicking through my medical records and her face dropped.

 'You should've been referred to see a dermatologist three years ago.'

She shook her head and began to apologise, all these years of confidence issues and self-doubt could have been sorted three years ago.  It took her five minutes to write my referral to the dermatology department at the hospital and she promised me that things would get sorted. There was just one problem, a fourteen-week waiting list. 

Why I Chose To Go Private

I went home to my parents with a prescription for Epi-duo, a cream I had previously been prescribed but hadn't worked. I told them about the fourteen-week waiting list and like me, they were shocked. Fourteen weeks. Four months to wait for a consultation and only four months until graduation. It was clear I didn't have the time to wait. 

We started to look at private dermatologists and came across the dermatology department at a private hospital just ten minutes from our house. I'll be honest, private treatment is on the pricier side and I'm incredibly fortunate to be able to afford to have this kind of treatment. After much deliberation, I rang to inquire and was given an appointment the following week. There's no way I could stand the fourteen-week wait. It got to a point where I was avoiding going out with friends. I was desperate.

My First Dermatologist Appointment

On the day of my first appointment, I was terrified because I didn't know what to expect. My name was called, I walked into the room and immediately felt at ease. My dermatologist spoke so softly and was incredibly gentle and understanding. I instantly trusted him. He asked me loads of questions such as how long I'd been suffering from acne and the different products that I'd tried, even though I think he already knew. I told him that my ideal situation would be to have clear skin for my 21st in June and my graduation in July.  He then examined my skin with a huge light up magnifying glass and told me that my acne was moderate. 

He said that he could put me on antibiotics but there's no guarantee that they would work and because I was on such a short timescale, the only answer to my problems was Roaccutane.   It wasn't the answer I wanted but the answer I expected. Nevertheless, I was willing to give it a try. 

Then Things Changed...

The next morning I went for a blood test to check if I'd be able to take the Roaccutane and to decide my dosage. The following week, I sat back in the same chair and discussed my options with my dermatologist.  I'd spent the week researching Roaccutane and I'd scared myself. For each good experience, there was a bad one. I read about the drastic effect it has not only on your body but on your skin. I wasn't sure I'd be able to cope. 

My dermatologist could see how scared I was so he suggested that I start on the antibiotics and then if they don't work, we know that Roaccutane is a definite last resort. He prescribed me with Doxycycline (antibiotics) and Differin cream to be applied each night before bed. Then, he told me I was to go back and see him every 2 months. 

March 2018

Wow, I never thought that sharing this photo on the internet would make me so nervous.

Here is a photo of my skin at the beginning of March before I started any treatment. As you can see, my cheeks and chin are covered in red, angry spots. This was taken straight after washing my face. It was these particular photos that pushed me to go and see my GP because I was so, so unhappy. 

After taking Doxycycline and using Differin for a week I saw some minor improvements. My spots weren't as inflamed and I had minimal side effects from the tablets. I made sure to use SPF on my face each morning as both treatments can have bad reactions to excessive sunlight exposure and I tried to keep my skincare routine as simple as possible. So far, so good. 

After Two Weeks

As you'll all know, I'm a researcher. I like to know what I'm putting in my body and what I can do to prevent the nasty side effects. I'd read that my skin would get worse before it got better and during the first month, it did just that. In the second week of treatment, my skin was purging. It pushed all the badness out and even though I knew this was going to happen, I was slowly losing faith in the tablets. I needed to learn that a miracle wasn't going to happen overnight. With any skin treatment, patience is key. 

After a month, my spots had reduced dramatically. The scarring was slowly clearing up and I was happy with my progress. However, I knew there was still a long way to go. 

2 - 3 Months

Two months into treatment and I was feeling more confident about my appearance. My acne was coverable with makeup and my spots weren't as aggressive as they used to be. I went back to see my dermatologist and he asked me to rate my skin on a scale of 1 to 10. I rated it a 5. He prescribed me with another two months of tablets and told me that this would be the month of big changes. 

The next month, I turned 21 and I couldn't believe just how clear my skin was. My spots had virtually disappeared and the only thing left was scarring. I remember looking in the mirror on my 21st birthday and crying, it was the best birthday present I could've asked for. The people around me started to notice my confidence coming back, which was a beautiful thing to hear, and I was slowly wearing less makeup. 

July - August

The past two months have been unbelievable.
I'm actually getting a little bit emotional writing this because it's a true reflection of my skin journey over this past year and I'm really proud of how much it has improved. If you would've told me in March that I would have clear skin for my graduation, I would've laughed at you. In July, I graduated with skin that I was happy with. I had my official photos taken without worrying about blemishes and it felt amazing.

In August I felt confident enough to go out without makeup on and strangers started to compliment me on my 'glowy skin', something I never thought could happen. I cannot believe how happy I am with how my skin looks and I will never be able to thank my dermatologist for the confidence he's given me.

So, What Did I learn?

There have been times throughout my treatment where I felt lonely like no one could ever understand how much acne knocked my confidence. Acne isn't just spots. It's not because someone doesn't wash their face or eats too much chocolate. Acne is a real medical condition and the sooner it starts being treated like that, the better. 

Two of my inspirations, so to speak, throughout my skin journey have been Georgia Toffolo and Em Ford.  A few weeks prior to my first appointment, I watched a segment on This Morning in which Toff spoke about her struggles with acne and for the first time, I felt like someone understood. Then, I watched Em's video about her struggles with acne and I felt proud. I felt so proud of the little blemishes dotted over my skin and the scars they leave behind. 

If anything, I've learned to be proud of who I am. I've learned that so many beautiful women suffer from acne and that it doesn't mean we're any less beautiful. I look at people like Georgia and Em and think they're absolutely stunning, so why am I not beautiful because I have acne too? My acne doesn't define me and the minute I stopped letting it control who I was and how I felt, my confidence started to grow. 

This is nerve-wracking for me to post but I feel like it's important to share photos of acne prone skin. It's incredibly frowned upon in the media and we need to change the attitude towards people with acne. When do you ever see a girl with acne modelling for Rimmel? Benefit? Urban Decay? You don't. Because people perceive acne to be an imperfection when in reality, it shows true beauty. I wish I would have realised this sooner. 

I'm due to go for my next (and hopefully final) dermatologist appointment in two weeks!

Have you suffered from acne?

If you have any questions on products or skin treatments then send them my way. 

We need to break that horrible stigma surrounding acne and embrace our imperfections. 

Lots of Love,
Meg

xxx