Why I'm Okay Being Single In My Twenties

Happy Valentine's Day! 

There's nothing quite like Valentines day to remind you just how single you are; if it's not the soppy posts on Instagram then it's the lack of flowers on your doorstep. At one point, I would have said painfully single but this past year, I've realised that being single isn't actually painful at all. 

I was never a girl who was bothered about dating. Whilst most of my friends were out with their boyfriends and swiping on dating apps, I was quite happy in my own company and focused on my degree. Of course, I had little flings here and there but nothing I'd consider to be serious. I didn't conform to society's pressures of being in a relationship in my late teens and that's okay, I was a firm believer that it would happen when it was meant to happen. 

However, when I graduated I felt lost. I'm more than aware that life doesn't play out like the movies and the chances of meeting the love of my life at University were slim, but I felt the need to have some kind of companionship. I wanted to be moving on with my life and I don't know if it was loneliness, boredom or cluelessness but a relationship felt like the next best move. 

And so I joined the weird and wonderful world of Tinder. 

The idea of meeting the love of my life on a dating app was unrealistic but there I was, sat in bed trying to choose six half decent photos, write a witty little bio and select  'I Wanna Dance With Somebody' by Whitney Houston as my anthem *cue the cheesy pick up lines*.

At first it was a bit of harmless fun. I wasn't on there to mess around, I just saw it as a chance to speak to someone new. I spent my evenings swiping, matching and chatting, never intending to meet any of the guys in person. That is until I started speaking to someone I actually clicked with, plucked up all my courage and went on my first ever Tinder date. We went for a walk along the Albert Dock in Liverpool and I thought it went well. Clearly, the feelings weren’t mutual because I got ghosted an hour later. As you can imagine, I was gutted. 

Little did I know that this experience would prepare me for what was to come. In the past two years I've dated a guy who already had a girlfriend, a guy who was still hooked on his ex, a guy with the personality of a brick wall, a guy who was a catfish, a guy who loved nothing but himself and a guy who just 'didn't have the time'. As you can tell, it's not been my greatest success.

Dating is just the same old thing over and over again. 

And honestly, I am fed up of it. So, I deleted the dating apps.

I've had a lot of time to think over these past few months and I've realised that I was associating certain points in my life with the person I was dating instead of the achievement/milestone I was making. I don't like the person I become when I start dating someone. I completely forget who I am and neglect myself and the things that I love. It's exhausting putting your time and effort into getting to know someone for it to just crash and burn. It's a web of overthinking, heartache and disappointment.

Seriously, who's got the time? Just talking about it makes me feel tired. 

Why has society made us think that it's not okay to be on our own?

Yes, I know third-wheeling can be awkward and embarrassing, especially when the PDA comes out. And I know that sometimes being single can feel lonely but that's okay. I'm living with my parents, I've got no partner, I'm not dating and guess what? I love it! 

I've never felt so empowered. I can be whoever I want to be and do whatever I want to do.  I've got no attachments, nothing holding me back and not to be cliché but I really am living my best life. I wanna book a holiday? I'm going. I wanna buy that dress? I'm having it. I wanna eat my cereal out of the box? You bet I'm doing that shit. 

I won't lie, sometimes I do look at couples and want what they have but at the same time I know that it'll come to me when my heart is ready to carry it. It's not that I've given up on love completely because apparently the best things come when you least expect them, but right now I'm more than enough for me. 

Maybe my future for now is on my own and that's totally okay. In fact it's more than okay, it's bloody brilliant. 

Lots of Love,

Meg x

I'm Just too Picky...

As you get older, it somehow becomes mandatory for you to be in a relationship - to have that one person who is both your best friend and lover. It's impossible for you to turn up to a family event alone without being bombarded with questions about your love life and your parents always book you into your own room 'just in case' you've found the one by the time the event rolls around. As you know, I share everything on this blog and one of my favourite things to talk about is relationships.

 I'd go as far as to say I'm a hopeless romantic and as unrealistic as it seems, I want to meet someone at the park walking the dog or at a supermarket like you see in the movies. The romance associated with meeting someone new is dead and I blame Tinder. I'll admit I've been on tinder a few times and I'm one of those people who download it and delete it on a regular basis - it truly confirms to me that guys are assholes and just when I think they could have changed, I download Tinder and just like that I get six cringe-worthy pick up lines, two people asking for my number, seven new friend requests and ten new followers on Instagram. It's just too full on, and the sooner I realise that it's not like the movies, the better. Tinder creates this unrealistic representation of people - I wrote a blog post all about it because it just drives me insane. 

So, why am I single?
It's a combination of things - I haven't found the one yet, I want to focus on my life path and I'm dedicated to the writing and the degree right now. I'm basically in a relationship with my writing. However, there's one answer that stands above the rest and it's that I'm just too picky when it comes to men. It's a good thing to have standards because it means that you know how you want to be treated but what do you do when your standards have exceeded human expectation? I'm not even sure my ideal guy exists anymore. 

It was a dating show that made me realise just how picky I am. There's something about watching dating shows that make me so happy - I'm an avid fan of First Dates and if you follow me on Twitter then you'll know that I non-stop tweet about the show when it's on. When I watch these shows I like to play along and say who I think the girl should choose or who I would choose if I was in her situation but I find faults with everything. It's not a good trait to have and I'm aware that no one is perfect but when I see people on dates and I see some of the things they say or the way they act towards one another I'm literally sat there like 'How have you not walked out by now?'. 

I'm often told that I'm never going to find someone if I don't lower my standards. I've been on many nights out with friends where they've seen a guy at the bar who is just 'my type' and when I turn to look at him I find something that I don't find attractive. Obviously, everyone has something about them that you're not going to like but once I notice this thing, I can't stop it from annoying me. It's very rare that I can overlook it and I see it as an indicator of if I really like someone - if I can over look this kind of thing then we might actually be able to go somewhere. 

Recently, I was at a girly sleepover with some friends and we wrote a list of what our ideal guy would be like - my list was way longer than anyone else's. There's something seriously wrong, isn't there? And it's not just appearance, it's the way they act, what they do in their spare time and they way they treat the people around them. Just a few things on that list include: brown curly hair, brown eyes, plays piano, good sense of humour and has a nice smile. Does such a male even exist? 

Does anyone else feel like this in terms of their relationships and being single? Or am I alone in this boat of picky single people? I'd really love to know your thoughts on this topic so leave them in the comments!

Lots of Love,
Meg

xox

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Being the Single Friend

I am currently at a point in my life where a lot of my friends are happily in relationships and I am still loving the single life. And that is totally okay, it's better to be in a relationship that you want to be in rather than one that isn't actually going to go anywhere.

Although the single life is great, and believe me it's totally fine, I can't help but notice a lot of things happening to me due to the fact that I am one of the only single people in my circle of friends. So, I'm going to dedicate this blog post to all of the thing's I've noticed, and been feeling, as the only single friend in the friendship group.

○ Your friends think it's necessary to set you up with all of their single friends
Even though you've made it 100% clear that you're completely happy being single, they set you up on the most awkward dates with the weirdest people. They only want to get you guys together so you can go on double dates. 

○ You're the Agony Aunt
You've been single for ages, but your friends still come to you with all of their relationship problems. 9 times out of 10, you'll find yourself analysing text messages and solving arguments that have nothing to do with you. 

○ You are the third person in the relationship
Leading on nicely from the last point; you know everything that goes on in their relationship, you may aswell be a part of it. Every time you see your friend, you get more information on their relationship than is necessary. You pretty much know everything about them, and you've only met them once.

○ You are the shoulder to cry on
When the relationship goes completely wrong, you'll be there with wine, pizza and chick-flicks to make things better. If there's one thing you're good at, it's proving that the single life is the best life and a woman doesn't need a man to make her happy, unless it's Zac Efron of course.

○ Cringing at Relationship posts
Scrolling through facebook and seeing the gorgeous gifts they've bought each other and cringey status' about how they're so in love and how they're going to be together forever make you completely cringe. You'd much rather sit there with your wine thank you very much. 

○ Getting frustrated when you've made plans and they bring their partner
This was clearly a girls night so why have they bought their partner along with them. They weren't invited and now you're going to spend the night third wheeling. You just wanted a night with you bestie goddammit. 

○ That feeling of dread when another friend gets into a relationship
The single crew is getting smaller and smaller; you're running out of people to go out and get drunk with. This means more dating apps being randomly downloaded on your phone and more awkward dates with your friend's' friends.

○ Your friends become boring and mature in relationships
Instead of going to a party and getting drunk, they want to spend their nights quiet and with their partner. What happened to being able to go out and dance until 5am or sit in and cry over Titanic with a pizza?

○ Not knowing where to look when you're third wheeling and they pack on the P.D.A
There is nothing more awkward in a single person's life than being in this situation. You just feel completely ridiculous; if it wasn't clear that you were third wheeling before then it's definitely clear now. 

○ Being prepared for plans to get cancelled so they can hang out with their boyfriend
Because sometimes friendship doesn't seem to matter when a relationship is involved. It makes some single friends feel sad and like they've lost their friends.

Those are just 10 of the many things I feel and think as the single friend in my friendship group. If you're the single friend, then leave me a comment if you can relate too this list, and also if you have other things you want to add!

Lots of Love,
Meg
xox

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