2 September 2018

How To Get Over The Guy You Never Dated

I think we can all agree that catching feelings is messy business, especially for someone who doesn't feel the same. As much as we make ourselves promise that we won't get attached, it's inevitably going to happen but just how do you get over that one person you couldn't call your own? 

 Personally, it's a situation I find myself in time and time again. I either go on a few dates and get ghosted or admire from afar and realise that the guy is completely out of my league. Regardless of the situation, that dreaded feeling lingers. A web of 'what if?' and endless amounts of wondering why I wasn't good enough. 

In recent months, ghosting has been a common occurrence in my dating life and it SUCKS!
I've been on dates with guys and things have gone really well. We've had a second/third date and then they just disappear. They delete from all social media, ignore messages and leave me with a bunch of feelings that I can't shake off. It frustrates me that people think that they can mess with other's feelings because they're unsure about their own.

When it comes to love and dating, I try to protect myself as much as possible. I don't like allowing myself to be vulnerable or taken for a fool but I'll admit, being ghosted is embarrassing. It hurts to know that you weren't on the same page; you thought they felt the same way with all the compliments, flirty banter and the good morning texts but it meant nothing to them. You feel like you were 'almost' good enough and wonder what you did to let them down. 

If this rings any bells then rest assured that you're not alone. After talking to a few of my girlfriends, I've realised it's a common thing for guys to do, yet it feels stupid to have all these feelings for a boy who you never made it official with. I like to refer to this kind of relationship as an 'almost relationship' and sometimes, I think they're the hardest to get over. 

So without anymore waffling from me, here are some things that might help you get over that guy. 

Remember that you're entitled to your feelings

Never feel like you shouldn't be sad because the relationship wasn't official. It's okay to cry and feel emotional, in fact, I guarantee that you'll feel better after a little rant to your girlfriends. 

Practice self-love

Remember that you are the most important person in this situation. Treat yourself how you deserve to be treated. Watch all the romantic comedies and Disney movies that your heart desires - it's nice to see romance go right even if your love life isn't working out. 

There's nothing wrong with you

Even though you might think that everything is your fault, it's really not. The fact that someone has messed with your feelings because they're unsure of their own says more about them than it does about you. Keep reminding yourself that you don't need them - you coped without them before and you can cope without them now. 

Switch Playlists

Make a playlist of all the songs that make you feel fierce. I'm talking Beyonce, Ariana, Whitney and Little Mix. There's nothing like a strong female playlist to make you feel like you can take on the world. 

Keep yourself busy

Channel your energy into something creative and occupy your mind. It'll defer from the temptation to check their social media every hour and sinking into the black hole of wondering why things didn't work out the way you wanted them to. 

Delete them from social media

Following on nicely from my last point, deleting the guy from social media always helps. I'm constantly doing this, so take it from someone who knows that checking their Instagram to see if they're in a relationship does not help matters. You need to be rid of them in order to move on. 

Your friends are your lifesavers

Guarantee, they'll be there to pick you up when you feel at your lowest and reassure you that the guy was punching anyway. You can do so much better, trust us! 

Treat Yourself

Knowing that you weren't right for the person that you wanted can really knock your confidence, especially when you don't know the reasoning behind their actions. My advice? Browse ASOS, treat yourself to that dress you've always wanted, go out with the girls and forget that he even existed. 

The final thing is to have faith.
In life, you learn that not everyone is going to like you, people can be horrible and not everyone treats people how they'd like to be treated but the right person will come along. Why waste time crying over a guy when you can be living the single life to the fullest? You'll also learn not to catch feelings when going on dates - if you don't expect things to go right, it'll be a nice surprise when you finally found the guy you've been waiting for.

I'd love to hear if anyone else has found themselves in this situation and what you do to deal with it!

Lots of Love,

{Photo by Emma}


  1. Loved this post! Such great advice. Being single at the moment, and choosing the online route to get around it, I’ve had my fair share of ‘heartbreaks’. It was nice how you pointed out that, no matter how you feel, it’s not YOUR fault! Deleting them off social media is key, plus putting your energy into other relationships in your life is a good shout. If he doesn’t put the energy in you’re prepared to/are then he’s not worth it ��

    1. Thank you so much! You’re so right, effort in relationships is a two way thing and if it’s not being shown from both sides then it’s not worth getting invested in. Channelling your energy into other relationships in your life is also key! X

  2. Thank you so much for this inspiring experience of yours , it really helps people who are in need of self love .


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