Hello Everyone!
I'm sorry I haven't posted a lot this week, I hope
you haven't missed me too much...only kidding! I do have a very valid reason
though; as I write this blog post for you now, I am sat in a completely
different environment, with a different desk and different people around me.
Instead of being cuddled up with my little dog like normal, I'm with three
girls who I have never met before in my life. As I look out of the window, I
can see the sun beginning to set, the sky has turned a pastel pink with little
hints of yellow beaming through. I'm not complaining, it's a beautiful thing to
look at. In the distance, I can see the hustle and bustle of the City, I just
can't help but wonder what everyone is doing. I didn't realise this place had
so many buildings. Have you guessed where I am yet?
Today, as I write this blog post, I am sat in my new
University flat. I've finally left home, and truthfully, I don't really know
how I feel about it. The process of moving my things from home wasn't as
stressful as I first thought it would be, we moved things down little by little
and now my room is all cosy with little reminders I've brought with me from my
bedroom. I'll do a little room tour on here in the coming weeks so that you can
see how cute it looks. I love my new room, I've got the most gorgeous view of
the city and every morning I get to watch the sun rise over Liverpool .
Sometimes, I think if I couldn't see the Radio City Tower
The hardest part for me, was when my parents left. As
I head the door to my room shut, and then the door to the flat, I was overcome
with loneliness. I was officially on my own, I had no one to depend on, and no
one to speak too. In my normal way of coping with things like this, I locked
myself away in my room for half an hour and cried for a while. I feel like
every student goes through this at some point. All I wanted to do when they
left was run down the stairs, hug them and tell them that they could stay.
Either that or I would have been in the car with them and back on my way home
to see my little dog.
The weekend was really fun. After getting over the
fact that my parents had left me and that I was on my own, I really got to know
my flat mates, and as the days have gone on, we've become really close with one
another which is lovely. Freshers has been quite boring here in Liverpool , there hasn't really been much to do. Well,
okay that's a little bit of a lie, there has been things to do, but the
majority of them have either been very empty, very boring or very expensive. My
student loan has been paid in which means my student diet and my student life
starts now. There is no more of this
expensive, luxury stuff, from this moment forward, I am living in Aldi and
Primark (not literally but you know what I mean).
This week has been really fun. On Monday, I enrolled
at University which means that I am now officially a student. I've got a really
cool student card with a little badge, I probably look like a complete idiot
walking around with it on my neck, but I feel like it makes me look older, and
I feel really professional. I'm hoping this phase goes away soon, I feel like
it's something I'm going to look back on and be like "Oh for goodness sake
Megan, why did you ever do that?". This week, I've also been to the little
Freshers event hosted by my university. It was only very small, but I got fed
grapes and came out with two bags full of free things which I'd picked up along
the way. This included a stress ball, some tictacs, a pot noodle and 6 pens
(you can never have too many pens).
Then induction week started. It's been really fun and
beneficial to meet new people on my course, especially because I know that we
all share the same interests. However, part of me is thinking right now that I
haven't chosen the right course for me. I know I want to continue to write, but
I'm not too sure that I want to continue to act. I don't think people realise
how much it upsets me to hear myself say that, but at this moment in time, I
really don't feel like I belong. Have you ever had that feeling when you're in
a room and you know that you just don't fit in, and you feel like everyone is
so much better than you? Well, that's me.
I don't really know why I feel like this. I think
it's because I've been out of education for four months, and I've just been
thrown back in in the deep end. But I also think it's because I had the same
drama teacher, and the same people in my class for around five years. I'd
become so comfortable with them and now that this bond has been broken, I'm not
too sure that I can cope with it. Being a very shy person doesn't really help
matters.
Another thing that's hard for me is that homesickness
is hitting me. I really miss my local pub, I miss taking my dog for a walk
around the park, but most of all, I miss my family. I'm only half an hour away
from them, but not being able to see them, especially on days when you're
feeling down, is one of the hardest things possible. I can't describe pain like
wanting a cuddle from your mum and knowing that she's not there to hug you and
tell you that everything is going to be okay. Of course there's the phone but
it's not really the same is it?
Overall though, I'm really loving Uni up to now. It's
such a new but exciting experience. Of course it has it's challenges, and that
is never going to change, but I can't wait for the new things ahead.
Lots of Love
Meg
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