24 September 2015

University Life

Hello Everyone!
I'm sorry I haven't posted a lot this week, I hope you haven't missed me too much...only kidding! I do have a very valid reason though; as I write this blog post for you now, I am sat in a completely different environment, with a different desk and different people around me. Instead of being cuddled up with my little dog like normal, I'm with three girls who I have never met before in my life. As I look out of the window, I can see the sun beginning to set, the sky has turned a pastel pink with little hints of yellow beaming through. I'm not complaining, it's a beautiful thing to look at. In the distance, I can see the hustle and bustle of the City, I just can't help but wonder what everyone is doing. I didn't realise this place had so many buildings. Have you guessed where I am yet?

Today, as I write this blog post, I am sat in my new University flat. I've finally left home, and truthfully, I don't really know how I feel about it. The process of moving my things from home wasn't as stressful as I first thought it would be, we moved things down little by little and now my room is all cosy with little reminders I've brought with me from my bedroom. I'll do a little room tour on here in the coming weeks so that you can see how cute it looks. I love my new room, I've got the most gorgeous view of the city and every morning I get to watch the sun rise over Liverpool. Sometimes, I think if I couldn't see the Radio City Tower, that I could be anywhere in the world. It truly is the most beautiful city.

The hardest part for me, was when my parents left. As I head the door to my room shut, and then the door to the flat, I was overcome with loneliness. I was officially on my own, I had no one to depend on, and no one to speak too. In my normal way of coping with things like this, I locked myself away in my room for half an hour and cried for a while. I feel like every student goes through this at some point. All I wanted to do when they left was run down the stairs, hug them and tell them that they could stay. Either that or I would have been in the car with them and back on my way home to see my little dog.

The weekend was really fun. After getting over the fact that my parents had left me and that I was on my own, I really got to know my flat mates, and as the days have gone on, we've become really close with one another which is lovely. Freshers has been quite boring here in Liverpool, there hasn't really been much to do. Well, okay that's a little bit of a lie, there has been things to do, but the majority of them have either been very empty, very boring or very expensive. My student loan has been paid in which means my student diet and my student life starts now.  There is no more of this expensive, luxury stuff, from this moment forward, I am living in Aldi and Primark (not literally but you know what I mean).

This week has been really fun. On Monday, I enrolled at University which means that I am now officially a student. I've got a really cool student card with a little badge, I probably look like a complete idiot walking around with it on my neck, but I feel like it makes me look older, and I feel really professional. I'm hoping this phase goes away soon, I feel like it's something I'm going to look back on and be like "Oh for goodness sake Megan, why did you ever do that?". This week, I've also been to the little Freshers event hosted by my university. It was only very small, but I got fed grapes and came out with two bags full of free things which I'd picked up along the way. This included a stress ball, some tictacs, a pot noodle and 6 pens (you can never have too many pens).

Then induction week started. It's been really fun and beneficial to meet new people on my course, especially because I know that we all share the same interests. However, part of me is thinking right now that I haven't chosen the right course for me. I know I want to continue to write, but I'm not too sure that I want to continue to act. I don't think people realise how much it upsets me to hear myself say that, but at this moment in time, I really don't feel like I belong. Have you ever had that feeling when you're in a room and you know that you just don't fit in, and you feel like everyone is so much better than you? Well, that's me.

I don't really know why I feel like this. I think it's because I've been out of education for four months, and I've just been thrown back in in the deep end. But I also think it's because I had the same drama teacher, and the same people in my class for around five years. I'd become so comfortable with them and now that this bond has been broken, I'm not too sure that I can cope with it. Being a very shy person doesn't really help matters.

Another thing that's hard for me is that homesickness is hitting me. I really miss my local pub, I miss taking my dog for a walk around the park, but most of all, I miss my family. I'm only half an hour away from them, but not being able to see them, especially on days when you're feeling down, is one of the hardest things possible. I can't describe pain like wanting a cuddle from your mum and knowing that she's not there to hug you and tell you that everything is going to be okay. Of course there's the phone but it's not really the same is it?

Overall though, I'm really loving Uni up to now. It's such a new but exciting experience. Of course it has it's challenges, and that is never going to change, but I can't wait for the new things ahead.

Lots of Love

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